I have some stories to tell, including something that happened nearly thirty years ago, when I crashed and nearly burned into adulthood.

This isn’t that story. But this is why it’s still in my head and not written.

In 1869 there weren't any walls...

Have you ever been to Niagara Falls? They talk of all the people who’ve gone over. Some are adventurers, the ones who go over in barrels. Some arrive at the edge of the falls with the single intention of committing suicide. But there are some who are mesmerized by the water cascading over the edge, down down down, and they simply climb the wall, step into the flow and become part of it. That was me, peering over the wall and being drawn into a possibly deadly current because it seemed easier than looking away.

Fortunately I finally stepped back and made my way up the path that led to the life I was meant to live…

A few years ago someone who was in my life back then, a ghost really, reappeared. Then another. Suddenly I was faced with a river of memories and emotions, and again I peeked over the edge…

This time I just wanted to tell someone, anyone, what had happened so many years ago, how it felt, how it changed me, but the wall (of Self Doubt) grew larger. I made a small crack in it, told a small part of the tale to some very trusted friends, whose reaction built me up and broke down the wall even further. I began to organize my thoughts, even came up with a title and decided to write a fictionalized account to protect people (and have some creative freedom, I mean who can remember conversations from thirty years ago?) but then…

I stopped.

Perfectionist wall replaced Self Doubt wall. I’d held this story in my heart and head for almost thirty years, and if I was finally going to tell it I was going to tell it right, damn it!

So that’s where I stand. Faced with another current on the other side of that wall, this one not deadly, just really, really scary.

Prompt:

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

(Author: Mary Jaksch)

Dear Five Year Ago Me,

I know you’re stressing about finding a job. Stop. You can’t even imagine what’s going to happen to you over the next few years, and the fact that you remain gainfully unemployed facilitates it. Money will get tight, but you will find a way to make some income and cut back that won’t hurt, too much. So relax.

Don’t get all cocky about the weight you lost last year. Keep eating healthy and develop a regular exercise routine or you will put it all back on… and then some. If you don’t keep eating healthy, at least don’t throw away the too big clothes, because you’ll have to replace them all in a few years.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

Be careful of what you give up to make someone else happy. Be prepared to defend yourself, and it will be ok. Just know it won’t be as easy as it seems.

The parenting thing? You’re doing ok. Keep it up.

The marriage thing? It gets a little bumpy, but don’t panic. Think of it as a thrill ride. Exciting, scary, ever changing and you want to keep going…

The grass isn’t greener. Accept that and go back to tending your own lawn (metaphorically speaking. Feel free to continue ignoring the actual lawn.)

Take the days as they come and don’t worry about having a plan.

Dear Five Years From Now Me,

I guess I could imagine what you’re doing now but I’d probably be wrong.

I expect to be moving… somewhere… right about now. Hopefully health and finances are settled so that the decision on what to do once the kids are grown is based on desire and not unwanted circumstance.

There are things I hope you’ve done. It would be cool if you made boogie boarding in OBX an annual event instead of that thing you did once.

Mostly I hope that you found a strong creative outlet that you love, that you’ve continued to learn and share your knowledge, and you are content with your life, wherever it is.

Prompt:

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

(Author: Corbett Barr)

I want to see heaven. I want to go where at night I can see stars blanket the sky, where city lights (or suburban lights) don’t drown them out.

I don’t know exactly what that place is. I know there are fewer and fewer options. Maybe I’ll go to Alaska, see the northern lights. Or New Mexico, where I can see natural monuments silhouetted against the sky.

How will I get there, especially since I haven’t really figured out where “there” is? I think the opportunity will find me. The trick (there’s always a trick) will be to recognize that opportunity and grab it.

UPDATE!! Hadn’t considered South Dakota but now I may have to… (hat tip to @benjaminellis)…

Plains Milky Way from Randy Halverson on Vimeo.

Prompt:

If we live truly, we shall see truly. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

(Author: Chris Guillebeau)

Prompt:

That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.

(Author: Jenny Blake)

I believe in returning shopping carts to the corral.

So, the cop-out (yet true answer): I believe it’s ok to cherry-pick. It’s ok to look at the “rules” more as “guidelines” that you don’t necessarily have to follow. It’s ok to take elements from religion, from philosophy, from any discipline, embrace and use what works and makes sense for you, and disregard the rest.

So in that spirit- I’m choosing to move on to the next prompt in this challenge, without really answering this one.

Except I think I just did.

Prompt:

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

(Author: Buster Benson)